It was on the morning of July 31st. My mother was the one on the other end. She informed me of the sudden passing of a man of whom I had a lot of respect. Mr. H was the father of two of my dearest friends. I knew that I would be packing up immediately to head east to do what I could to help the family during this time of loss.
I guess this is the first time that the circumstances were fortunate that I am currently out of work. I had nothing holding me to stay at my own home for the next few days. Just like that, the pity party I was having for my lack of employment was suddenly forgotten. It was insignificant. After a few phone calls of notifications and communication with the family, I accepted my first assignment. I was asked to pick up the youngest son from the airport as he flew in from Yankeeland to the Lone Star State.
He and I have been through a lot in our lives and friendship of about 18 years. We share many experiences that teenage friends and young adults go through. We don't speak quite as often as we probably should, but that made no difference. It was not the first time I had picked him up from the airport, but I never imagined these circumstances. (The previous time had been for a different type of life-changing experience - my wedding.) Following a somber embrace at baggage claim, we began our three-hour journey to reunite him with family. He told me immediately that he did not want to talk about the obvious. He asked about what was new with me. I did my best to keep conversation away from his dad, but every topic eventually came back around to the reason he made his unscheduled flight.
Luckily my brother lives a few miles from his family. My brother and I were both available over the course of the next few days to do whatever the family needed. Sure, we mowed the yard and helped with a few errands, but I learned that sometimes just being there is gesture enough.
I tried the whole time to put myself in the place of this family and especially in the place of these two young men that are my age. No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to even imagine the pain they were experiencing. Maybe that is why I had a tougher time at the funeral than I thought I would. Yes, I will miss seeing and visiting with Mr. H when I travel that direction. That was not the emotional feeling I had overcome me at the funeral, though. My pain was for the family and the void that was now created. Another emotional factor was the fact that my own father was the minister officiating the funeral. Hearing him speak, I could not help but imagine how I would feel if it was my father that was gone.
In retrospect of the entire week, I feel like I learned one of those maturing life lessons about priority. Lately I have had days when I have felt down about my employment and financial situations. This experience helped me to realize that this minor setback in my life is not quite so important in the overall plan of life. What is important is how you live your life (that dash on the headstone) and how you affect others while you are here. Family and friends are important. How you treat others, no matter the status of your relationship, is important. I doubt anyone who knew Mr. H would have a negative thing to say about him, his faith, or his priorities. He was not the most outgoing person in the world. He was not one to go out of his way to meet new people. He was, however, a well-respected and loved father, husband, grandfather, co-worker, son-in-law, father-in-law, friend, and Christian brother. I promise that those titles meant more to him that how much was in his bank account or how much land he owned. I can learn a lot from Mr. H.
I will close with this. At the funeral, his youngest son bravely read an excerpt from Mr. H's blog pertaining to his thoughts on death and Christ. Here is a link, so that you, too, can read his words - http://popgunstories.wordpress.com/2012/04/07/easter-2/. You might also find it interesting to read other entries from this fine man.
I also feel like it is fitting to include a picture of what was important to Mr. H.
Well articulated. I echo the sentiments and continue to pray for my dear friends!
ReplyDelete-Stacey